Learning Outcome 1:
Nancy Sommers states in her writing of “Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers” that “The students have strategies for handling words and phrases… What they lack, however, is a set of strategies that help them identify the ‘something larger’ that they sensed was wrong and work from there.” I disagree with Sommers and believe that I personally do well at making big idea changes to my work. I go into the editing stage with the state of mind “what’s missing?”. This skill is what betters my work and also why I have such a large change between my first draft and my final draft. When revising my own work I first start by rereading my first draft and making global changes. I take a look at my thesis and see if the rest of my arguments I have made throughout my paper to make sure it continuously supports my thesis. I do this by handwriting my own notes on a separate piece of paper. This process allows me to gathers my thoughts and reorganize the point I am attempting to make. In the second essay I was assigned to write about the topic of social change my second draft was almost completely different from my first draft. I started a completely new google document where I could copy and paste my first draft and make edits to compose my final paper. I made complete structural changes and adjusted my word choice for better flow. I added new quotes and in text citations, ideas and detailed explanations. For example in my second draft I actually declared a clear thesis which I lacked in my first draft. Most of my first drafts are rough outlines of my argument which leads to a drastic change between the first and second drafts. This leads to major global changes including usually a long addition of body paragraphs. When revising my own work I search for what’s missing. This is usually where I add quotes and more in-depth explanations. Most of my first drafts are rough outlines of my argument which leads to a drastic change between the first and second drafts. This leads to major global changes including usually a long addition of body paragraphs. My final step is to reread my revised essay aloud to help with spotting grammar and spelling mistakes or local mistakes. This also gives me a chance to have feedback from whomever I may be reading to.
These are examples of my handwritten notes:
As I have previously explained there are many drastic changes from my first draft and my final essay. The difference between my first and final draft introduction paragraph of essay number two was immense. I made a complete and official thesis that strengthen my introduction and the rest of me argument.
First Draft:
Throughout Charles Duhigg’s writing “From Civil Rights to Megachurches” he explains many different aspects that impact social change that are still relevant to how social changes arise today such as, a three-step process that must occur in order for social change, the impacts of social habits have on a community and the positive effects peer pressure can have. Duhigg’s ideas of required steps for social change are still relevant in today’s time.
Final Draft:
Throughout Charles Duhigg’s writing “From Civil Rights to Megachurches” he explains many different aspects that impact social change that are still relevant to how social changes arise such as, a three-step process that must occur in order for social change, the impacts of social habits have on a community and the positive effects peer pressure can have. Duhigg’s ideas of required steps for social change are very relevant to how civil right movements have made advantages throughout history. In a recent controversial protest against the inequality and oppression of black people, that is taking place in the National Football League during the playing of the national anthem is a successful example of Duhigg’s ideas for social change.
Learning Outcome 2:
Throughout English 110 I have been showed many tools for integrating quotes into my writing such as; TRIAC paragraphs, “Quotation Sandwich” and Barclay’s formula. As I have learned using outside sources from other experts improves the quality of my work and strengthens my arguments. A form of quote introduction I have learned and used successfully in my essay #2 was the TRIAC paragraph format. For example I introduced an expert Charles Duhigg to prove my point.
Duhigg also explains to readers the positive influence that peer pressure can have on a community. Peer pressure can be a form of motivations and social obligation that can make someone uphold their commitment or to join a movement. Duhigg describes social peer pressure as,
“[Peer pressure] a form of persuasion that has been remarkably effective over hundreds of years. It’s sense of obligation that neighbors or communities place upon themselves…Peer pressure- and the social habits that encourage people to conform to group expectations- is difficult to describe, because it often differs in form and expression from person to person”(92).
Though peer pressure is thought to be a negative influence in most cases, in these protest it is considered a key role in how a movement stays consistent. While being under the influence of peer pressure alike close ties you have an obligation to take part in a movement. Not joining in on a movement can risk someone’s social standing but joining in on a social movement might also risk someone’s social standing.
Learning Outcome 5 and 6:
After revising essay #2 I made not only many global changes buy many local changes. These local changes consisted of MLA formatting, word choice and spelling nd grammar corrections. A constantly seem to make spelling and grammar mistakes throughout my writing career. I have a hard time deciding the appropriate time for commas and semicolons very often. In my first draft I did not indent my paragraphs or properly cite my in text citations. Other local mistakes I adjust were changing the misspelling of final to the correct way. Though they are minor corrections they add up to a big change to make my paper better.
Fist Draft:
https://docs.google.com/a/une.edu/document/d/1QqB_6lMXblRZTMCzpPREw7QGaHJukTDIIsDJ7D6yw2Y/edit?usp=sharing
Second Draft:
https://docs.google.com/a/une.edu/document/d/1hlumbH_4VEZlRNCjmVrDREZraVuWucAoJguvjsApeKM/edit?usp=sharing
